JamSmooth.com

Dear Family and Friends,

I hope this finds you doing well.

As many of you know, I have attended Buckhead Church for nearly 4 years. I am writing to let you know I will be going on a short-term mission trip with my church to Cambodia this spring, April 29th through May 8th. Our church has partnered with the New Life Church in Phnom Penh. I have been so blessed and this is a way for me to give back. I feel the call to return to Cambodia this year and I am thrilled to be going back.

This year our team will be constructing a classroom for New Life Orphanage in Phnom Penh. Last year in Batdambang, Cambodia we built walkways for the orphans there. Here are some photos from that trip: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamsmooth/sets/72157617640000670/

The reason for my letter is to create a support team who is willing to pray for our team, give towards this project, or both. We need wisdom as we travel to another culture and seek to meet their needs. Financially I need to raise $3,200 to cover the cost of expenses and airfare. I will be contributing at least $500 to this trip.

I will need all funds by April 9, 2010. Checks should be made out to Northpoint Ministries with Cambodia Construction – Phnom Penh – April 29 – May 8 in the memo line. Please write me at jam@jamsmooth.com if you would like to mail a check. All donations for this project are tax deductible. Also for tax purposes, please do not write my name on the check.

You may also donate securely online at https://ssl.northpoint.org/ssl/globalx/. Choose “Cambodia – Phnom Penh” from the country list and choose “Cambodia – Phnom Penh Construction – 4/29/10 – 05/08/10″ If you donate online then please type my name in the individual field. No amount is too small.

As I did last year, I will share each day of our trip through Facebook, Twitter and my blogs so that you may follow the journey.

Thank you for partnering with me in this amazing journey. If you have any questions please contact me.

James N. Staubes, Jr.

Many of you know that last November I took a vow to not date for an entire year. The vow came at the perfect time. I was obsessed with women, dating and attempting to find one. Often I’d go on 2 dates a week. I constantly checked my e-mail hoping for a reply from Match, Craigslist or Eharmony. What I constantly got was depression, unmet expectations and disappointment.

On November 19th, the dating sabbatical, as I call it, will be over. I’m grateful I did this. I learned how misguided my priorities were. I was shown that I was looking to women for validation they cannot give. Women cannot validate a man, only God can through Jesus Christ. I was shown how my lust sabotaged my interactions with women.

When I took women and dating completely out of my life a clear vision emerged. The importance I placed on women proved immaterial.

The pressure is off now. As I prepare to date again I’m under no illusions. I see that I have the power and the choice. I’m the one who choses to spend time with a woman who is worthy.

A few weeks ago I was talking to an older woman at a party about my sabbatical. She asked if I’d written down the 10 qualities of the woman I wanted. I’d definitely thought about it but I hadn’t written anything. So that night I went home and wrote down 10 qualities, 10 things I require in the woman I will date and eventually marry.

Here they are, more or less in the order of importance, with some explanations:

1. Loves Jesus. Is a follower of Christ and puts Christ first. Committed to being a Christian wife.
2. Physically attractive.
3. Physically fit. Committed to exercise and does it regularly.
4. Eats healthy. Committed to a diet of nutritious, life-enhancing foods and cooking.
5. Fiscally responsible. Keeps a budget. Saves and spends wisely. No debt. Also tithes!
6. Into music, entertainment, art, books and films. Someone who will watch all the weird Netflix movies I get.
7. Enjoys travel. This is a given because, as a rule, women love to travel.
8. Not materialistic.
9. Wants kids and to raise a family.
10. Not co-dependent. A woman who has her own hobbies and interests, bringing a new perspective and challenging me.

It doesn’t seem like a tall order to me. I could’ve kept writing more too. I have no doubt there are plenty of women who fit this description. I’ve been putting myself in situations where I am more likely to meet this type of woman. I also believe God wants to honor my commitment to Him. So I’m hopeful I’ll meet the right woman at the right time.

I’m not desperate anymore. I’m cool and relaxed. God has shown me that yes a woman can enhance my life, but a woman is not the way to happiness.

If you know of any single women who fit the bill, you know where to send them!