Name Change

Doris hates her name. Hates it. Despises it. The main reason Doris hates her name is because people, who are so fucking unoriginal, always call her Doris Day. Doris hates that.

The other reason Doris hates her name is because George Michael wrote a song called, “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.” The song had lyrics that said, “You get the gray skies outta my way, You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day.” People always sang that song to Doris.

Doris decided she had enough of it. She Googled how to change her name and she’s going to the courthouse tomorrow to do it.

She’s changing it to Julia. Julia doesn’t know that The Beatles have a song called, “Julia.”